I could literally look at photos and videos of the girls all day long…. these images above of Sky & Soph warm my heart; this was them in all their innocence and glory…best buds out to make you laugh and smile.
September 4, 2013…….10 LONG months without the presence of 3 beautiful girls; 10 long months without a huge chunk of my soul; 10 months of agony; 10 months of pain; 10 months learning how to survive; 10 months too long.
It’s not that every single day without them isn’t a reminder itself but certainly the 4th of every month is the day that I really feel I can reach out to every one and ask them to remember and to pray and to reminisce. That dreadful 4th….where if I count back just far enough everything was exactly as it should be, my world was complete, my heart had yet to be shattered, 3 angels were still among us.
I had a rough Labor Day as I reflected over the last almost 10 months and realized that another season had come and gone without Skylar by our side. I started thinking of my life left here as seasons and how many more seasons until I get to see my baby again…how many more seasons until I feel just a semblance of myself again…how many more seasons until I can breathe without pain…how many more seasons…….?
With every season that passes it is that much further from the last time I hugged her…that much further from everyone’s memories of her……
I’m afraid for everyone else’s pain to subside and for their hurt to lessen…. if it doesn’t hurt does that mean they have forgotten them? Oh, the worries of a broken momma.
I know that my baby’s death is not the end of her existence but rather the beginning of her eternal life. I also know that this tragedy and their deaths does not define their legacy on this earth….these angels were so much more than their tragic accident. I will fight for as long as I have in me to remind others of this.
“If there ever comes a day when we can’t be together, put me in your heart, I’ll stay there forever.” A.A. Milne
“Do not judge the bereaved mother. She comes in many forms. She is breathing, but she is dying. She may look young, but inside she has become ancient. She smiles, but her heart sobs. She walks, she talks, she cooks, she cleans, she works, she IS, but she IS NOT, all at once. She is here, but part of her is elsewhere for eternity.”
A Quote from Skylar’s Favorite Movie: The Notebook: “In times of sorrow I will hold you and rock you and take your grief and make it my own. When you cry I cry and when you hurt I hurt. And together we will try to hold back the floods of tears and despair and make it through the potholed streets of life.”
“Grief can be a burden, but also an anchor. You get used to the weight, how it holds you in place.” Sarah Dessen
“And when the night is cloudy, there is still a light that shines on me. Shine until tomorrow, let it be.” – The Beatles
I Love You More sweet Sky, Soph & Jules XOXO