Comment and Discuss…
It has been 21 months since we lost my stepson in a car accident. He was 24 years old. You are traveling a path the changes. It will be clear and open then change to fog where things just catch you by surprise and you are crying again. I only have just now taken a glimpse of your journal. the one thing that jumped out at me so strong was the club. It really does feel like that; like you have joined a club that no one wants to be in. Until you are there, you can have no idea what happens. I don’t know why i felt that but i did and still do. I also find myself looking at people and wondering if they have lost someone so dear to them, or what are their struggles. In our club of parents that have lost children, we are survivors that can do anything if we can get through this; and we can and will so we can carry on the memories. I imagine must feel different to have child of your own die. Something even deeper. I feel like people don’t see it from a step point of view, and it is different on this end. maybe more alone. I just have one solemn wish, that Andy knows that I have always loved him and always I shall. I will check back on you from time to time, I will pray that you will get through each life event with that edge of the sword not being quite as sharp. That laughter will always come back to you to help the healing. God Bless, hang in there, and talk to Skylar when you need someone to listen.
What a beautiful site in memory of your daughter as well as a place for others to gain strength and peace with those who have journeyed the same path. I am so sorry for your loss – will keep you, your family and those who were touched by Skylar in my prayers. I lost my oldest daughter when she was 17. Looking back, it seems she lived her short life almost knowing she would not be with us long. She volunteered at a soup kitchen, nursing home, tutored kids who needed some extra help, never got angry, never yelled, always stood up for the underdog, giggled constantly . . . I have 4 younger kids and have to be honest, after 10 years some days are still a struggle. You learn to move on, but our lives were changed forever. What we have gained is immense – remembering we all have walked different paths, what seems to be apparent is not always the case , compassion, my brother-in-law converted to Christianity after going thru this with us, appreciating each moment, understanding that the things that are important are priceless and cost no money to achieve. its ok to remember someone you have lost and smile and giggle at the silly things. God Bless you and your family.
Well today I have a heavy heart to realize that it’s finally sinking in that you 3 girls are gone. Skylar I used to love playing soccer with you and your dad. Coach Matt was the best. And Sophie you taught me and shay some things (; and Julianna god where to even begin. We grew up together went to arrowwood elementary together and hung out everyday. Whenever I needed someone you were there. Friday after school we sat on the bus and talked about boys and our future. And I looked at her and said “you better be careful tonight” and she just laughed and said you know I always am. And that was the last words spoken between us. But Julianna you grew up with good christian family values . So I know your all okay.
I have no idea how you feel, the pain, the loss you endure each day. How do you tell your child that he is going to die within months of your conversation? The pain and agony of that conversation with my child was one of the most heart breaking moments of my life. Did God know give me such a challenge because he knew that he would be there right next to me helping me? I too lost my 16 year old son to brain cancer. From the beginning when we were given Aaron’s death notice, as parents we were given a new life task: “Without Aaron how were we to make a life that still held meaning and purpose?” We weren’t ready to quit being a father, a mother to Aaron. On July 16, 2008, we didn’t have a choice. God decided is was time for Aaron to join the angels in heaven. In months, years since Aaron’s death, grieving without a blueprint, feeling our way through changes and toward outcomes we cannot predict, life as we knew it has changed forever. Nothing can ever be done to undo the loss of Aaron however, we have learned through our faith with God and with the help of family and friends to put our energy into what’s important and let the rest go. The strength to keep going, to believe that keeping going is worth it, came from our connection with God and accepting that Aaron would want us to go on and live life to its fullest. Part of our work that needs to be done in order to survive this horrific life lesson is to speak of our loss and to let others know that they can speak of the loss with us. We lost a son, however, others have lost someone they loved too. A brother, boyfriend, grandchild, nephew, cousin, friend, these losses are just as significant as our loss. Our heart aches for those too. What hurts the most is being so close to Aaron and having so much to say and having to watch him slip away never knowing what could have been. We all need relief from our pain, grieving is such hard work that we must take some time off. Going back to laughter that once gave us so much pleasure, might make us feel unsure or disloyal. It would be disloyal to Aaron not to laugh again. Aaron made a decision to live the rest of his life with intergrity and never complained to anyone that his getting cancer was unfair. Aaron showed us how to live life with laughter, love, forgiveness, patience and to accept what we cannot change. God knows that all of us grieving parents would need companionship and care, some good advice, some crazy jokes and common thoughts to share. Thank GOD for blogs!!!. I realized through my child knowing he was going to die that living in the “NOW” offered a lot of freedom. Freedom to stop living through memory of how it was and the anticipation of how it’s going to be. Enjoy the moment, the “NOW” he said to me many times.
My name is Skyler and I am 14 years old. I was in a car crash on January 18th of this year. My two friends were also with me in the car but we are, as I have observed your page, so lucky to be alive. My parents do not know about the crash because I was afraid and didn’t want them to get mad. But you have opened my eyes so much and all of my prayers are with you and your family and friends. I never realized how lucky I was, and this has truly opened my eyes. I did not know your daughter and only came to this page by chance. I know God has a plan for everyone and I swear I felt a gaurdian angel that night. Your daughter was beautiful and amazing in every way, and I thank you for this page. I know she is looking down and smiling to have had been so blessed.
I did not know your daughter personally, but have followed this tragic story deeply. I pray for you and your family everyday. Your blog is truly inspirational. And I will remain to keep your family in my thoughts and prayers.
I know you are sharing a lot with the world. I think that is a special gift. I see a book in your future that will not only help all of you but other people. Keep up the sharing. I love to read all the wonderful things about the girls. I HATE it that this has to come. From such an awful event but maybe that is the plan or at least part of it. God does everything for a reason even if we don’t understand it.
You will live forever I love all of you guys! I didn’t ever really know you but I hope you all are okey. It’s a goodbye, it just a see you later.
*its not a good bye
I love and miss you Sky . All I have left is the beautiful memories God has given me ! You will always be in my heart ! It truly amazes me how many life’s you touched . What a blessing from God you are!
I love you and I love this website. I miss them more than anything in the world.
Skylar, I’m not going to act like we were best friends but we deffinatly got our share of time together. I still have a note from you from 8 th grade in Mrs. burnhams class lol. Last year in From we’ d study with chandler courtnie and austin lol you were always looking for someone really smart who knew all the questions to the study guide, you probably were better off with anyone else besides us! Lol because all we did was talk about the randomest stuff. Sky, a lot or few memories together ; those are the memories that will continue to replay and replay in my mind whenever I think about you. I wish you the best, although you’re probably doing the best out of all of us right now because you’re in such an amazing place! This wristband will stay on my wrist and I will keep it forever; for a reminder of how precious life is. Also, you have made me think about living my life to the fullest because I haven’t and lifes too short and is often taken young. So thank you for that. Thank you so much because I needed that wakeup call. See you soon Skylar!!
What a beautiful site:). I just know that Sky is so proud of you Kel for all of the love and compassion you have shown. You will always always be a mother of 4, one being a precious angel in heaven, smiling down. Sky was so loved by so many, and she will never be forgotten. Here’s to angels <3
I never knew any of the girls, and what i’ve heard, i’ve missed out. People I go to school with were pretty good friends with them, and from what I hear, their hearts were filled with love. They’re are all beautiful girls, and what you’re doing is so beautiful. You’re so strong, and I know how you feel. And i check this site every night, and I see your fb posts, and I know the girls are lookin down and watching over everyone they cared for.. You’re such a strong mom, wife, friend, overall person. I wish you the best.
You and your family are in my thoughts. You’re lucky to have 3 angels looking over you.
I’m so sorry this happened to you. I’m so sorry this happened to you all. It still touches my heart and brings me to tears. I wish I could’ve saved you. I know I didn’t know you well. I have no stories of you except in middle school. We haven’t talked since 6th grade officially. But I still loved you. You were someone in our community, our Bellbrook family, and a very respected peer. It breaks my heart for this to happen to you. I love you all. I still can’t believe it. When I think you, I have to remind myself what happened. Everytime I hear a knock on our door in math, I’m praying to God that it’s you. I’m hoping so horribly that’s it you. But..it’s not. December 19th is dedicated to you Sky. I have a shirt I got made with your name on it, and Sophie’s and Julianna’s. On the back, it has a date we will never forget. November 4th, 2012. It was the day our world shattered. I love you Sky. I’m sorry. I promised you three, I would write a song for you. And…I did. When I sing it on December 19th, I’m singing it to you and the audience is in the background. I honestly still do NOT know how we could ever move on. From such a tragedy. From such a pain. But this life and society doesn’t stop for anyone and we are involuntarily asked to do so. We have no choice. But I’m rebelling against society. I won’t move on from you. I will live my life in honor and remembrance of you. All three of you. My life is devoted to you. You are the reason I see life to be so precious. I’m so sorry Sky. “Sky, I’m not ok. No. And Sophie, I can’t see if I’ll ever be. Oh. And Julianna please give us the strength, to make it through another day. Without seeing your face. Oh. I still don’t know how we could ever move on. I still can’t find the words to say, “they’re gone.” My tears washed up in the street, my soul drowned into the sea. It all hurts from those words.” <3 I will always sing those words, especially to you. <3 Tell me how Heaven is. I bet it must be great up there. You are having a remarkable time. And if Tupac is really dead, tell me how meeting him is Sophie. And Julianna, I know you and my sister were friends. She misses you so much, we all do. I hope you're too girly. I love you all. RIP. "Return If Possible" ;') I'll see you again. I know I will. 🙂
Dear friend, your scripture is perfect and thank you for pushing through with the DIVINE strength you have been given to honor the lives of these beautiful children and your Sky bird. Skylar is standing in Glory and so proud of her strong Mama givng a beautiful place to talk and help one another. It takes village to uplift a parent……I am excited to see this place grow. LOVE!
You’ll never know how much you are loved. I know your seeing all of this and still don’t believe it. I’m so sorry I let something so small get in the way of our friendship. I always thought we’d find our way back to eachother. Just know you’ve impacted my life in so many ways and so many lives around you. You were the goofiest, selfless, most carefree person I’ve ever met. I love you so much. Please help me and everyone else get through this. I can’t wait to see your beautiful smile and goofy laugh again. I love you.
Hi Skylar! I didn’t really see you that much but I still remember you! I don’t know why this had to happen to you and no one does except God. I will always wonder why this had to happen. You are probably looking over me right now as I write this sentence. I remember at the funeral your uncle told a story about how you and Maria went to the grocery store with your dads credit card and you spent $900. WOW. Nice job. Then you went threw the self checkout line. That was my favorite story of you. You would always look out for your friends everyone kept telling me. You were a great person. I love and miss you Sky and always will. We are praying for you girls and I will see you soon! R.I.P Skylar!
What a beautiful tribute to our granddaughter Skylar! Thank you daughter for putting together such a magnificient website to honor our “Sky-bird” and an opportunity to help others as they struggle through the healing process, just as our family is doing at this time. You are loved “even more”!