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Christmas with Jesus

Posted on December 1, 2012

For the first time since you were born I put up my Christmas tree without any help from you.. even last year as a busy teenager you took time out of your evening and helped me hang ornaments. This year Joy and Alana and I worked on the tree (while the boys fought over who placed the star on top; as you can see nothing has changed here). Another first in this long road that we are traveling.

I have many ornaments on the tree for you, Sophie and Julianna. I found Brutus (our cat for those not familiar) messing with one that is for Sophie, I had to laugh and think “hey Sophie is here and totally messing with me right now!” It’s going to be one incredibly tough holiday season Sky.. not that every day is not already, but not buying presents for you my dear is going to rip my heart out.

I know wrapping them and placing the gifts under the tree without any for you will just be one more horrific reminder that you are not with us; not in the physical sense and in the sense that we all need you.  The amount of pain I am carrying around does not even seem humanly possible and moving closer to Christmas is making the days unbearable.

I have an ornament on my tree with the poem below written on it; grandma Terry gave it to me and it is a sweet and sad reminder of where you will be this Christmas and future ones as well. I know you, Soph and Julianna are going to have one rockin’ Christmas; i hope everyone throws Jesus an awesome party. I have no doubt that you girls will be the center of attention…try not to steal Jesus’ thunder — esp. you Sophie, try and keep it down – ha!

Missing you all, as always.

I see the countless Christmas trees
Around the world below,
With tiny lights like heaven’s stars
Reflecting in the snow.

The sight is so spectacular
Please wipe away that tear
For I’m spending Christmas
With Jesus Christ this year.

I hear the many Christmas songs
That people hold so dear
But earthly music can’t compare
With the Christmas choir up here.

I have no words to tell you
The joy their voices bring
For it’s beyond description
To hear the angels sing.

I know how much you miss me,
Trust God and have no fear
For I’m spending Christmas
With Jesus Christ this year.

I can’t tell you of the splendor
Or the peace here in this place.
Can you imagine Christmas
With our Savior, face to face?

May God uplift your spirit
As I tell Him of your love
Then pray for one another
As you lift your eyes above.

So let your hearts be joyful
And let your spirits sing
For I’m spending Christmas in Heaven
And I’m walking with the king!

 

3 Comments

  1. Oh Kelli, my heart aches for you and your family. I love that you arhave decided to write a blog; I read all the entries. This tragedy has really changed my perspective on life, and has taught me a great deal of patience. When my kids are misbehaving or driving me nuts, instead of reacting, I take a deep breath and just thank Him that I have these two beautiful, healthy babies. I admire your strength and will continue to pray. XOXO.

  2. What a beautiful poem. Ilost my sister in a car accident in 1975 and life has never been the same…. she was 18. About 6 months after her death she came to me in a dream to let me know that she was in heaven. The dream is as vivid now as it was then. The pain is still there but the dream gave me peace. It is heart breaking to know the pain that you and your family are going through..you are in my prayers. This website is a great tribute to Sky and a testimony to your faith in Christ.

  3. This Christmas will most definitely be the worst one I will ever have… 🙁 I do remember our me and my sons christmas 2011.. the last one we will ever have together…

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