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Happy 18th Birthday Sweet Angel

Posted on March 27, 2014

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I’m a few days late on this, I apologize. Skylar would have turned 18 on Tuesday March 25th. Something about your baby’s birthday just makes the pain multiply. Knowing the 25th marked the day that she breathed her first breath and the day I fell in love.  March has been one crazy month for me. I managed to stay extremely busy and made it my goal to keep Sky’s name in everyone’s thoughts for her birthday month. We had 3 awesome events for her this month and I THANK YOU ALL who attended or contributed in one way or another.

I of course went to bed on the 24th with a heavy, heavy heart and Skylar (as she always is) was the last thing on my mind before I drifted off to sleep. I woke up with tears in my eyes and a heaviness in my heart and a longing that just doesn’t have a definition. I laid in bed and the memories flooded over me and I let the pain consume me. I’ll never understand why God takes the good ones so soon. That child of mine was loved by so many and left a gaping hole in all of our hearts when she left……..but in her death I know she is continuing to touch lives and for that I am proud.

We lost 3 more this week. Not in our community but in a neighboring one. 3 young teenage boys. It was an eerily similar accident and 3 more precious, young lives gone too soon. My heart breaks for those families and it caused me to revert back to the moment that I was told about the accident and the girls deaths. I don’t wish that on the devil himself, please think of these families and lift them up in prayer.

God is good and He will comfort them in their time of need.

I had a friend share a devotional with me recently and it touched me deeply. It was a reminder that Jesus feels our pain and sorrow.

“Jesus wept.” John 11:35

Many of you know the story of Lazarus, the brother of Martha and Mary. Martha and Mary deeply mourned the loss of Lazarus. When Jesus arrived to the city gates, Martha rushed to meet Jesus, Mary did not.

It is significant that Mary did not rush to Him. Her grief had overcome her.  When she finally did approach him with her questions, doubt and grief…we are told that Jesus wept.

An excerpt from this devotional: by Suzie Eller

Jesus was so moved by the depths of sorrow from Mary and the others gathered, that the heart of God reached from heaven to weep with them.

Not long after His encounter with Mary, Jesus experienced a sorrow greater than anyone has ever known. In Isaiah 53:4 it was foretold, “Surely he hath borne our griefs, and carried our sorrows: yet we did esteem him stricken, smitten of God, and afflicted” (KJV). Heartache was an intimate companion to Christ’s suffering on the cross.

As Jesus wept, He understood the weight of Mary’s grief. He didn’t tell her to move on. Or that she shouldn’t feel this way. Instead, Jesus offered inner peace for inner anguish as He mourned alongside her.

May I share comforting news? In the presence of Jesus, you don’t have to numb it, escape from it or push it down. Your heavenly Father requires none of these. Just as Jesus welcomed Mary, He beckons you to come to a safe place, where your Savior is not afraid of sorrow. This safe place is a haven where the mending of your heart begins, as you are invited to express your grief with the One who was wounded and broken, and who carried your heartache upon Himself on the cross.

Loving Savior, who promises never to leave me or forsake me, who understands the weight I’ve carried, today I invite You to weep with me. I feel joy that I can come to You with open hands to receive renewed life in the midst of my grief. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

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I think I will repeat that prayer often.

8 Comments

  1. Hi Kelli,

    You don’t know me, but one of the boys killed on March 26th was the baby brother of my sweet daughter-in-law. It has been so heartbreaking for the family…and for the mom, who lives in WA state and had only 8 months ago let her son come to Dayton to live with his dad. God has been doing some amazing things in the family through all of this. My first thought was of you and this blog, as I’ve been following it since the time of the girl’s accident. I gave your blog info to Wes’s grieving mom, Julie, and it has prompted her to start blogging herself – which has been very therapeutic for her. So, please pray for the Culpepper family. And thank you for putting yourself out there – for sharing your emotions and your faith…and for being a light shining in a very dark place for other parents who are just going through this. You are a blessing. My prayers are with you…and have been ever since your tremendous loss.

    Love, Lisa Wygant,

    • Thank you Lisa for sharing this with me and for sharing my blog with Wes’s mom. They have all been in my prayers since I learned of the horrific accident. And thank you for following along with my painful journey. God Bless

  2. Amen. God Bless You Kelli! The Birthday party at Soft Rock was awesome! You sure know how to throw one heck of a get together! I loved how much you put into it, as well as how much many others helped as well! Even for your Angel Skylar’s Birthday, you still had a picture up of all three girls as well as the TV flipping through pictures of Skylar’s life with Sophie and Jul mixed in. That was a night that was more touching to me than I have had in a long time. Lots of memories that had been forgotten came rushing to the surface… To be invited to that made me feel more than special, kinda like how Jul made me feel.
    When Christa and I dropped off our weekly rose for Jul on Tuesday, Christa wanted to make sure Skylar had one also. She knew I had gone to a birthday party for her the past Saturday and she thought that Sky needed a rose. (I hope she likes roses.) 🙂
    Jul’s big 16th is on June 27th… I wish that I could do for her what you did for Sky. I wouldn’t even know where to start…nor would certain people think it was my place. Jul wanted to get her license so bad after her cousin Brianna got her’s all that time ago… She had been waiting so long. I hope Jesus gives her whatever car she wants for her birthday! As for Skylar, I pray that she got whatever her heart desired from Jesus for her big 18th!

    **The Lord gives his people strength. The Lord blesses them with peace.** ~ Psalm 29:11

    • Thank you Ashley and thank you for helping us celebrate. Xo

  3. I just started reading your wonderful blog today. I too know your pain first hand. I lost my beautiful baby girl in June of 2012. Her name is Kayla Mongold she was only 12 years old, when she was hit and killed while walking home with her best friend. To this day I still cry, I still have anger that I cant seem to get rid of. I still have not been able to forgive the man who took Kayla’s life, her future. Every situation, every death is different. Yet the pain that a parent feels is always heart breaking and life changing. I am so sorry for the loss of your Sky-Bird. She was and is a beautiful young lady.

    • Gloria, thank you for reading my tribute to our angels. I know your story, I followed it when this tragedy happened. God bless you and yours and may you be wrapped in a peace that only God can offer. My relief at the end of the day is knowing that God doesn’t make mistakes and that Skylar, Sophie and Jules are right where they are suppose to be. We ache for them to be with us but they are happy and forever safe right where they are.

  4. Love the prayer – praying for you always

  5. My heart is heavy today with the sadness that comes with losing such a bright and beautiful life that is cut tragically and unfairly short..I weep with you today and every day…

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