Many of you have followed my posts on FB, I apologize now if you have to re-read some of the same. I will probably re-post many of my FB messages, as they help to tell this story somewhat. This photo attached was taken at the cemetery 11/26/12 while I laid with the girls and played music for them. I snapped this photo of the beautiful sky and didn’t look at it again until later in the evening after I was home. I was amazed to see 3 crosses in the trees to your left and a very definite angel in the clouds in the top right corner. God is surely giving me many signs that my baby, Sophie and Julianna are right by His side and safe for eternity. Although this doesn’t ease my (our) pain of missing our babies more than life itself, it certainly gives me a peace and comfort to know they are with their true Father and one whose love surpasses my own. I continue daily to look for small signs of comfort from our God above and I thank Sky, Soph and Jules for opening my eyes wider than they have ever been and for learning to appreciate the small things in life. They have also taught me to be still and listen; God gives us signs every day of his presence and everlasting love; if you just open your heart and eyes. I love you Skylar, Sophie and Julianna and there won’t be a day that you are not in my thoughts and heart.
“Be still and know that I am God” Psalm 46:10
It was just over a year ago I was out on my motorcycle riding with my buddy and cruising through town we decided to stop at the Dairy Shed in Bellbrook. We pulled in and we immediately noticed two very cute girls sitting there eating ice cream and parked right by them. We took off our helmets and walked up and order and I just happened to glance over at the two girls and the one just looked at me with this look that went straight through my heart, she was beautiful, her eyes were amazing and her smile seemed like it never ended. We got out order and sat down a table away from them and we all made eye contact and they started asking us about our bikes. We sat there laughing and carrying on about random things and I still couldn’t take my eyes off her, it was eating at me. We talked about taking them for a ride but we were hesitant as we only had a helmet for us so we decided with the girls that they would wear the helmets and we just take a quick trip up and down the back roads. I still remember her holding on for dear life even though we barely broke 40 mph. I stopped at a stop sign and looked back and asked if she was ok, her smile was that of a 4 year old on Christmas morning, she just nodded yes. As we got back I parked and she hopped off and we were just getting ready to take off when she handed the helmet it back to me and said “Make sure you wear this, it will save your life and keep you safe!” and smiled the most beautiful smile hugged me and said thanks and walked away. Little did I know that would be the last time I would ever hug or even see her alive. November came and I saw that face in the newspaper and saw the name and fell apart, how could something so sweet ever be taken off this planet? I was lost, I rode my motorcycle to the gathering that night at the high school and watched all the face show up, but they all said the same as mine. There is a picture of you sitting on the ground with your head on your knees, next to you are two bundles of purple wrapped flowers I left the night before.
Early this spring I got my motorcycle out and got it ready to ride and took off to work, with my helmet. It was different this time because I usually didn’t ride ever with a helmet to work since its only 7-8 minutes away. But I got this feeling inside that I should wear like someone was telling me to wear it. I even thought about it all day because it was an unusual feeling. Work was nearing an end and I went and gathering my things and walking out to my bike I looked down at my helmet and I remember that face I once saw smiling so big in it and I smiled to myself that warmed me up on that cool night. I put the helmet on got going home and was about a mile from home taking a familiar curve I always took home when all sudden I see bright lights in my side mirror swerve and then smack into me. My life changed forever there and flashed before my eyes. I was struck by a swerving driver who hit me and left me on the side of the road. Luckily behind was a caring driver who didn’t see it but stopped to help me. I was unconscious for over 25 minutes, my helmet was crushed around my head, my nose broken, my collar broken, two ribs, my ankle. My head took the blunt of the crash skipping off the curb and into a fence, I had brain bleed and brain bruises that was causing my ears to bleed. The lady who stopped couldn’t even tell if I was alive with all the blood on my face. When the first cop arrived he told the lady to go back to her car, he feared I was dead with all the blood. I awoke to probably 10-15 nurses and doctors probing me in the ER. Covered in blood I could barely see or smell anything. I stayed in the hospital for just under a week while recovering before I got to go home. A couple days after I was out I got to see my bike and my helmet, the bike not totaled but needing about $2500 in repairs and my helmet broken and bashed in sent tears down my face. I’d never cried like this since I was in Iraq or at a military funeral. I looked at that helmet and realized it had saved my life, but not only did it, your daughter Skylar saved my life. Skylars simple message of asking me to wear it to stay safe I truly believe saved my life that day. I will forever cherish that small memory I have of her for the rest of my life because it forever changed mine.
Though I am afraid to get back on my bike again even though I still have to come up with the money to fix it, I know for sure I will never again ride without a helmet because of your amazing daughter.
I see your posts all the time and I always go back through and look at the pictures of her and cry to my self because I haven’t had the courage to confront you. Its not that I’m scared because I took her out on my bike but to see you in person and know that someone so dear to you and so soulfully beautifully as Skylar can’t be there too. I’ve seen men die overseas I’ve been to the funerals but none will hurt like Skylars, and from time to time when I visit her stone, I thank God that I was given the chance to return home from war to meet such an amazing girl, my life is forever changed!
thank you for sharing this….my baby is amazing. Please don’t be afraid to reach out.