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God IS in control

Posted on January 9, 2013

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I look at this photo of Sky and my heart skips a beat. I remember how excited she was on this day!  She even let me take several photos (which she never did). How bittersweet this is…….as excited as she was, I of course was a nervous wreck and worried constantly about her on the roads.  Of course, as we all know now, my worst fears became my unfortunate reality.

I’ve had a very rough few days while missing my baby and her friends. I’ve allowed the devil to get me down and take my focus off of God and my healing. It wasn’t until I read something this morning in my ‘Jesus Today’ book that I was reminded just how pathetic and powerful the devil can be if you take your eyes off Jesus, even for a moment.

‘Jesus Today  (paraphrased)

Whenever you look for me, you will find me. My promise to be with you always ensures that you never have to face anything alone. The evil one uses three D’s to keep you from finding me: distractions, deception, and discouragement.

Boy he’s done that alright…..this week felt like 3 steps back and the loneliness I was fighting was so painful it felt debilitating……no doubt the work of this evil one!

I was also reminded again today that I am traveling God’s path and not my own.  God is doing things that I can never understand and he has told me that in his word…..that is why he tells me to Trust Him!

These are the daily reminders that I need to hear. To KNOW and believe that God is in control of my life – because I asked him to be, brings me a blanket of peace.

I have prayed for Skylar since the moment I knew she was growing inside of me…..and Sky has a faithful, God-loving family that has also fervently prayed for her and all of her siblings. That tells me that God held Sky in the palm of his hand during her life here on earth and even now while she is in His presence…God heard our prayers, God knows our hearts.

These are the promises that bring me HOPE and peace.  The devil got a hold of me this week and certainly focused my attention on the tragedy of this situation and on my own pain and questions…..when I know full well, the ONLY way for me to move forward in this life with any hope of survival is to focus on God and His promises for Skylar (Soph/Juls) and for me.

I read these verses today and the peace I felt was indescribable.

Even to your old age and gray hairs I am he, I am he who will sustain you. I have made you and I will carry you; I will sustain you and I will rescue you. Isaiah 46:4

The Lord watches over you- the Lord is your shade at your right hand; the sun will not harm you by day, nor the moon by night. The Lord will keep you from all harm – he will watch over your life; the Lord will watch over your coming and going both now and forevermore. Psalm 121:5-8

I am making it a  conscious daily reminder that the devil will only get me down with these 3 D’s if I allow him.  I don’t want anyone to distract me from where I am headed…. and that’s to eternity with my baby, when God calls me home!  I’ve seen enough discouragement and distraction and deception these last 2 months to last me a lifetime…..I choose to focus on God’s plan and his reassurance for me and my loved ones.

Missing you as always baby girl…..always on my mind, forever in my heart. Love you more………

5 Comments

  1. Kelli, You are a gifted writer and a blessing to others. I think of and pray for you and your family daily. May God bring comfort, peace and healing as you share your heart and use your gift to help and inspire others. Ronda

  2. Kelli,

    On the days in between your posts..I always send up an extra prayer for you. My heart tells me these are days that you walk thru the valley. I am thankful that your faith and thirst for God’s presence will not fail you. I continue to pray for your other children and that they find the way to deal with all this, that you all will find peace, and most of all you will reach out to each other…hold each other, cry together, and eventually laugh together.

    Sheri Robinson

  3. While I don’t know you, you have been on my mind ever since I heard your story. I’ve prayed for you and read every blog entry. I’m a new Christian and wanted to tell you how much your faith inspires me. As a mother myself I can’t imagine surviving a child’s loss. Seeing how your faith has held you up is amazing. I will continue to pray for you. Thank you for sharing your faith.

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